Timecop

I haven't had much time to update lately due to catching up on work and studying. However, I was able to fit in watching a lot of different movies. So expect more reviews coming in.

For now though...Timecop

Oh, Timecop is there nothing you can’t do? It has come to my attention that I’ve been rating movies pretty high lately. I definitely need to be a little more focused. As much as I love giving films an 8 out of 10 or higher, I also enjoy rating films real low.

Well, I thought Timecop would be another 8 out of 10 for sure. Boy, was I wrong. The movie spent much of the opening having characters complain about time travel, making references to Star Wars. The set up is that time travel is “sissy stuff”, and the rest of the film is supposed to prove that’s not true.

But, really it is sissy stuff. Besides a funny scene here or there, the idea of Jean-Claude Van Dame traveling through time gets old fast. This is Van Dame at the end of his blockbuster action streak, and it really shows.

Towards the end, the action and plot get so convoluted that you just really shouldn’t care.

4/10

The People Under the Stairs

I think I saw The People Under the Stairs when I was a little kid, but I didn’t remember any of it. So, I didn’t categorize this as a rewatch, but I will say that I’m glad I watched this.

This is definitely one of Wes Craven’s best, up there with Nightmare on Elm Street and Last House on the Left. When did Craven start to deteriorate as a director? Anyways, this film tried to have a plot with a socio-political context concerning class tension in the early 90’s. But, as were Candyman succeeded at this same time by having something to say about perpetuating stereotypes, The People Under the Stairs just comes off as having unintentional camp sensibilities.

The film is fun as it is flawed, creative and original. When a young African-American boy named Pointdexter (nicknamed “Fool”) goes to steal gold coins with his uncle he ends up on an adventure in a house owned by a bizarre couple.

The couple is what makes the movie, and they are played by Everett McGill and Wendy Robbie (both who also played husband and wife in Twin Peaks). If you were a fan of their characters in Twin Peaks then you won’t be disappointed. Their “zaniness” makes the film well-worth watching.

Also, Ving Rhames as Uncle Leroy is hilarious with such great one-liners as, “Maybe the president is going to make me the secretary of pussy.” Overall, the film is a little drawn-out and has a pretty stupid ending, with 90’s hip-hop-do-gooder music. The People Under the Stairs feels like an awkward mix of a kid-friendly Disney horror film and the gross-out scenes of a Clive Barker movie.

7/10

Rewatch: Commando

What can I say about Commando that hasn’t already been written in lengthy, scholarly essays? I can just say that it was a movie of its time, and it all worked due to Arnold Schwarzenegger. No other actor could have pulled this off madness.

The plot follows retired special forces operative John Matrix as he tries save his kidnapped daughter from a bad guy. Just a bad guy with a funny mustache, who appears to have an orgasm when he gets close to killing Matrix.

I’m pretty sure this movie won an Academy Award for best picture. From the amazing opening where Schwarzenegger eats ice cream and pets a deer to the “in-your-face” closing that I posted above, this film is one hell of ride. Strap your seatbelt on, right?

Eh, well…people probably didn’t find it funny back then, or maybe some people did. It’s Schwarzenegger at his prime before the Terminator, and it makes you want to watch more bad/funny action movies. I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing. No chance.

7/10

The Collector

I vaguely remember hearing about The Collector when it was first released. I think my dad and little brother went to go see it at the movie theater. I’m not sure why this was released theatrically as it had a straight-to-video feel from beginning to end.

This film had a lot of laughable parts, and for me that’s a good thing. There’s two kinds of people that would watch a horrible film like this: 1) People who actually get scared by and enjoy this crap. 2) People like me who find humor in bad horror movies.

Horror films have always really been dark comedies anyways. And, I give it to The Collector in reminding me why I need watch more bad horror movies. For the humor.

Apparently, The Collector was going to be a Saw prequel as it was made by the same writer or whatever. I personally can’t stand the Saw films, but I might go back and watch all of them for the giggles.

The main protagonist is made out to be an anti-hero as he breaks into a house to rob a safe to save his own family he ends up trying to save another family from the…duh, duh, duh…THE COLLECTOR.

Or, whatever. The dude isn’t the least bit scary. If you realize from the horribly made and hilarious opening credits that this is going to be a funny movie than you’re in for some sure-fire lols.

Let’s see….the collector dude just likes torturing and collecting people and wears a ski mask. Okay. He enjoys booby-trapping the house Home Alone style with wires, bear traps and knives dangling from a chandelier. Okay.

The cat scene was ridiculous. The flaming dog in the waste basket being used as a weapon (Why didn’t I think of this?) was ridiculous. The drawn-out psych-out ending was ridiculous. This entire movies was funny and ridiculous.

All I learned from it was that it’s good to steal from rich peoples’ houses because you could end up saving lives.

6/10

Rewatch: District 9

I haven’t posted any reviews in a few days, as I’ve been busy working, studying and doing other things. Basically, I didn’t make time to watch many movies over the weekend. I did, however, watch more of Season 2 of Alias, which I’ll write up a review for later.

Friday night I viewed District 9 for the third time. It was the first time my wife had seen the film and it was the first time seeing it on Blu-ray for me. The first time I saw it was at the theater and then on TV in HD.

The Blu-ray is great and has some awesome bonus features. The images are much crisper then when I watched it on TV, and the surround sound in wonderful.

Not a lot changed in my opinion of the film in the third viewing. I did feel that I didn’t care as much about the prawns, and I actually think Christopher wouldn’t come back for Wikus. I was little more positive the first time watching it, a lot more negative the third time.

I just love the image of the entire mothership that is continuously shown in the background and blends so well with the Johannesburg scenery. This film will definitely go down in history for it’s creative, modest budget and documentary-style. Though, my biggest complaint has always been that it seems the documentary feel gets somewhat lost in the third act.

Watching District 9 again just got me excited for Neill Blomkamp’s next film, Elysium.

8/10

Buried

Rented the Blu-ray of Buried and watched it without any expectations. I may have been a little bias with my preconception of absolutely finding Ryan Reynolds to be a bad actor.

The film is a little hokey, but delivers for the most part. If you don’t know, the entire is film is simply Reynolds trapped in a coffin. We stay in that coffin for 94 minutes!

The plot reminded me of something like Phone Booth, and the premise is actually very similar. However, what makes Buried more suspenseful than most “intense” action films is the break-through performance by Reynolds and the carefully anxious directing of Rodigo Cortes.

Reynolds still acts like a smart ass in a couple of scenes, but mostly he gives a believable performance. The film goes deeper than just plot and can be viewed in a strong socio-political context.

Also, the psychological pathos displayed in hostage situations is delivered in an almost exuberant and surreal manner. In the end, the trained viewer will ask questions that dig deeper than what was intended.

Overall, it’s not for everyone. There should be a disclaimer that the duration of the film takes place in a coffin. It’s as unconventional as mainstream can get, and Reynolds gave me just a tad bit of hope for The Green Lantern.

8/10

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Nerd alert! Resident Evil: Afterlife wants to go back to what made the first film tolerable for horror/zombie fans and fans of the video game series. The series somehow made it over the horrible hump after the disastrous Resident Evil: Apocalypse, and Paul W.S. Anderson came back to direct the fourth installment.

The film series has tried to include elements from the games, and Afterlife includes characters from both Resident Evil: Code Veronica and Resident Evil 5 (two of my favorites). It’s nice to see Claire and Chris Redfield in action, but it’s also really only semi-appealing to fans of the game. Also, I thought Wentworth Miller was really the standout actor in the film as Chris Redfield, but not enough was done with his character.

The film was made for 3D and was just fine in the appearance of 2D on Blu-ray. The Blu-ray also has some nice features, including Zombie picture-in-picture vision.

The opening scene was pretty neat with the zombie Japanese girl, though I’m not sure how it really tied into the entire film. That’s also one of my biggest complaints is the lack of zombie action and the reliance on 3D action sequences that quickly become cheesy. For example, the battle scene with the Executioner was more cartoonish than it was dark and suspenseful.

Wesker was actually done better than I thought, and did become too corny in the end. And, of course the film is cheesy and mindless. But, luckily it’s not too mindless for fans of action films and the Resident Evil games. Something like this often borderlines into Uwe Boll Alone in the Dark territory, but manages to regain consciousness due to Anderson and Mila Jovovich actually caring about their work to some extent.

4/10